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When Therapy Language Gets Weaponised
Terms like trauma, triggered, gaslighting, and toxic have made their way from the therapy room to everyday conversations, TikTok captions, and meme culture.
And on one level, that’s a good thing.
Language helps us make sense of our experiences. Being able to name patterns like people-pleasing or emotional neglect can bring enormous relief - especially if those patterns were invisible or dismissed in the past.
But something else is happening too.
These words are starting t

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Nov 203 min read


Beyond the Buzzwords: What Therapy Actually Feels Like
What does therapy really feel like - beyond the clichés and Instagram quotes?
This blog explores the emotional texture of therapy: the awkward, the grounding, the unexpected - and why nuance matters in the healing process.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Oct 163 min read


They Can’t Read Your Mind
Often, this comes from:
Growing up where your needs weren’t voiced or met, so you learned to suppress them
Believing love means instinctively knowing what the other person wants
Fearing rejection if you’re too direct
Feeling unworthy of asking for what you need
It’s not that you’re “too needy.” It’s that your nervous system has paired love with silence.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Sep 182 min read


When Guilt Doesn’t Belong to You
This kind of guilt often shows up when:
You set a boundary and someone reacts with disappointment
You say no, and the other person tries to convince you you’re selfish
Someone uses past sacrifices as leverage for your present choices
You feel responsible for someone else’s emotions -when deep down, you know you shouldn’t
This isn’t guilt you generated. It’s guilt that’s been projected onto you.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Sep 112 min read


Why It Feels So Hard to Say No
"Why can’t I just say no?” If you’ve asked yourself this, you’re not alone. Saying no can feel heavy, sticky—even impossible.
It doesn’t mean you’re weak. It means at some point, your nervous system learned that saying yes was safer.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Aug 272 min read


Why You Freeze in Difficult Moments
“Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t I say something?”
If you’ve ever replayed a difficult moment and asked yourself these questions, you’re not alone. And you didn’t fail. You froze.
Freezing isn’t weakness. It isn’t inaction. It’s your body protecting you.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Aug 212 min read


The Cost of Constantly Managing Other People’s Feelings
You were never meant to carry the emotional temperature of every room you walk into.
You know how to keep the peace. How to say the right thing. How to soothe someone else’s discomfort—even at the cost of your own.
You’re tuned in. Responsive. Empathic. And exhausted.
If this feels familiar, you’re not alone. And you’re not doing anything wrong. You may have just learned, somewhere along the way, that other people’s feelings were your responsibility.
But that comes at a c

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Jul 103 min read


The Pain of Not Being Apologised To
You deserved an apology. Maybe more than one. Maybe from someone who pretended nothing happened. Or someone who brushed it off. Or someone who didn’t even notice the hurt they left behind.
But the apology never came. And that still hurts.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Jun 263 min read


Why You Keep Falling Back Into Old Patterns (Even When You Know Better)
Awareness is powerful—but it’s not magic.
You’ve done the work. You’ve read the books. You’ve gained insight. You know what your patterns are.
So why do they still show up?
Why are you still people-pleasing? Still avoiding rest? Still getting pulled into the same spirals?
If you’ve ever felt the sting of “I should know better by now”—you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re being human.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Jun 122 min read


Why Being Kind to Yourself Feels So Hard(And why that doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong)
You know the advice.
“Be gentle with yourself.”“Talk to yourself like you would a friend.”“Practice self-compassion.”
And yet… something in you resists. You try, but it doesn’t stick. It feels fake. Uncomfortable. Even unsafe.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re likely protecting yourself in the only way you know how.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Jun 52 min read


Why You Can’t Just ‘Think Your Way Out’ of Anxiety
ou tell yourself:“I’m fine. It’s not that bad.”“I’ve dealt with worse.”“There’s nothing to be anxious about.”
And still—your heart races. Your stomach flips. You can’t focus. You feel wrong, even when your brain says it’s fine.
Sound familiar?
If so, you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re not weak. You’re just learning that anxiety doesn’t live in logic.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
May 292 min read


“The Window of Tolerance: Why You Sometimes Shut Down or Blow Up”
You’re trying to stay calm… But suddenly everything feels too much. Or maybe the opposite—you go numb. Tired. Foggy. Disconnected.
You wonder:
Why do I freeze like that in conflict?
Why can’t I just keep it together?
Why do small things suddenly feel huge?
There’s a name for this. It’s called your Window of Tolerance.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
May 222 min read


I Won’t Be Judging What You’re Carrying (And Here’s Why That Matters)
Sometimes the hardest part of therapy isn’t opening up—it’s the fear that if you do, you’ll be judged.
You might wonder:
What if it’s too much?
What if I don’t make sense?
What if they think I’m failing?
If that’s you, I want you to know this: I’m not here to judge what you’re carrying. I’m here to hold space for it.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
May 152 min read


Mental Health Isn’t Just for May
Why everyday awareness matters
May is Mental Health Awareness Month—a time when social media, organisations, and workplaces shine a spotlight on emotional wellbeing. And while awareness campaigns can be helpful, there’s also something quietly uncomfortable about the idea that mental health only gets the microphone once a year.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
May 92 min read


Not Just Person-Centred: What My Therapy Style Really Looks Like"
There’s a growing conversation in the therapy world right now—one that makes space for nuance, honesty, and naming what actually happens in the room. And I think that’s a good thing.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
May 22 min read


Why Rest Feels So Uncomfortable (Especially If You're Anxious or Neurodivergent)
We’re often told that rest is good for us. That slowing down is essential.But if you’ve ever tried to actually rest—and ended up feeling more unsettled than calm—you’re not alone.
In therapy, I often hear versions of the same thing:“I finally got a moment to myself… and I couldn’t relax.”“I sat down and felt guilty, like I should be doing something.”

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Apr 233 min read


The Need to Know vs. the Need to Feel
Many of us respond to emotional pain by trying to understand it rather than actually feel it. When something hurts, our first instinct might

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Apr 92 min read


You Don’t Need to Earn Rest
If you’re someone who pushes through exhaustion, feels guilty for slowing down, or needs to justify time off with productivity—you’re not al

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Apr 22 min read


The Fear of Being ‘Too Much’: Why You Apologise for Your Feelings
Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Sorry for rambling” or “I know I’m being dramatic” when sharing something important? You’re not alone. So many people—especially those who struggle with low mood, anxiety, or relationship challenges—fear that expressing their emotions will make them a burden.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Mar 262 min read


When You Look Like You’re Coping… But You’re Not
Let’s be honest — it’s entirely possible to look like you’re holding it all together while feeling like you’re barely keeping your head above water.

Canterbury Village Counsellor
Mar 193 min read
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