They Can’t Read Your Mind

How many times have you thought:“If they really cared, they’d know what I need.”“I shouldn’t have to spell it out.”

Neon sign glowing brightly in the night, advertising a psychic reading service with its vibrant pink and blue lights, inviting passersby into the mysterious world within.

It’s such a common hope -that the people closest to us should just know. But here’s the truth: they can’t read your mind.

Why we expect mind reading

Often, this comes from:

• Growing up where your needs weren’t voiced or met, so you learned to suppress them

• Believing love means instinctively knowing what the other person wants

• Fearing rejection if you’re too direct

• Feeling unworthy of asking for what you need

It’s not that you’re “too needy.” It’s that your nervous system has paired love with silence.

A young person in a hoodie sits with tape over their mouth, conveying themes of silence and constraint amidst a blurred outdoor background.

What happens when we don’t ask

When we wait for others to guess, we set ourselves up for disappointment.

• Needs go unmet

• Resentment builds silently

• Relationships feel distant or unsafe

• You start to believe you’re “unseen” or “unimportant”

The painful part is—it’s often not that they don’t care. It’s that they genuinely don’t know.

The power of voicing your needs

In therapy, we explore the courage it takes to name your needs out loud. This doesn’t mean demanding, or always getting your way. It means allowing yourself to exist fully in relationships.

When you say:

• “I need reassurance right now.”

• “Can we spend some time together this weekend?”

• “I’d feel more supported if you could…”

…you give others the chance to actually meet you.

Asking is not weakness—it’s connection.

They can’t read your mind. But they can respond, if you let them know what’s really going on. And you are worthy of having your needs heard.

A tiny green seedling emerges from the dark, rich soil, symbolizing new beginnings and growth amid nature's backdrop.

If you’ve been waiting for people to “just know” your needs and feel let down when they don’t, therapy can help you find your voice. Together we can explore what makes asking so hard—and practise the safety of being heard.

You can find out more or book an introductory chat here.