The Fear of Being ‘Too Much’: Why You Apologise for Your Feelings

Have you ever caught yourself saying, “Sorry for rambling” or “I know I’m being dramatic” when sharing something important? You’re not alone. So many people—especially those who struggle with low mood, anxiety, or relationship challenges—fear that expressing their emotions will make them a burden.

A woman sits alone in quiet reflection by a large window, enveloped in gentle natural light, which creates a peaceful and thoughtful ambiance.

But where does this fear come from? And how can we start to believe that our feelings are valid, not ‘too much’?

Where Does the Fear Come From?

1. Early Experiences – If you grew up in an environment where emotions were dismissed, ignored, or punished, you may have learned that expressing yourself leads to rejection or conflict.

2. Cultural Conditioning – Many of us are taught that being ‘strong’ means keeping emotions in check, especially if we’re used to putting others’ needs before our own.

3. Past Relationships – If you’ve ever been told you’re ‘too sensitive’ or ‘too emotional,’ it’s natural to start believing that your feelings are a problem rather than a reflection of your experience.

A young boy sits in dim lighting, deeply focused and absorbed in his thoughts, creating a serene and introspective atmosphere.

Why Your Feelings Are Not ‘Too Much’

Emotions are part of being human. They aren’t something to apologise for—they’re signals, telling you what matters to you. When you dismiss them, you risk losing touch with your needs, boundaries, and inner voice.

Instead of apologising, try saying:

• “This is really important to me.”

• “I need space to process this.”

• “I’m allowed to feel this way.”

How to Reclaim Your Emotional Space

• Notice When You Apologise – Catch yourself when you’re about to say “sorry” for sharing and pause. Ask yourself: “Am I actually doing anything wrong?”

• Validate Yourself – Even if others don’t understand your emotions, that doesn’t mean they aren’t valid.

• Surround Yourself with Safe People – Spend time with those who encourage you to express yourself without fear of judgment.

A woman with sunglasses smiles brightly as the golden sunlight filters through the trees, casting a warm glow on a lively street scene.

You are not ‘too much.’ You are just enough. And the right people in your life will make space for all of you.

If any of this resonates, you’re not alone — and you’re not “too much.” You’re simply human. And you don’t have to do it all by yourself. If you’re curious about how counselling might help, I’d be glad to have a conversation with you. You’re always welcome to get in touch — no pressure, no judgment. Just a space to be heard.