“Why didn’t I do something? Why didn’t I say something?” If you’ve ever replayed a difficult moment and asked yourself these questions, you’re not alone. And you didn’t fail. You froze. Freezing isn’t weakness. It isn’t inaction. It’s your body protecting you.

You deserved an apology. Maybe more than one. Maybe from someone who pretended nothing happened. Or someone who brushed it off. Or someone who didn’t even notice the hurt they left behind. But the apology never came. And that still hurts.

Awareness is powerful—but it’s not magic. You’ve done the work. You’ve read the books. You’ve gained insight. You know what your patterns are. So why do they still show up? Why are you still people-pleasing? Still avoiding rest? Still getting pulled into the same spirals? If you’ve ever felt the sting of “I should know better by now”—you’re not alone. And you’re not failing. You’re being human.

You know the advice. “Be gentle with yourself.”“Talk to yourself like you would a friend.”“Practice self-compassion.” And yet… something in you resists. You try, but it doesn’t stick. It feels fake. Uncomfortable. Even unsafe. If this sounds familiar, you’re not failing. You’re not broken. You’re likely protecting yourself in the only way you know how.

ou tell yourself:“I’m fine. It’s not that bad.”“I’ve dealt with worse.”“There’s nothing to be anxious about.” And still—your heart races. Your stomach flips. You can’t focus. You feel wrong, even when your brain says it’s fine. Sound familiar? If so, you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re not weak. You’re just learning that anxiety doesn’t live in logic.

You’re trying to stay calm… But suddenly everything feels too much. Or maybe the opposite—you go numb. Tired. Foggy. Disconnected. You wonder: Why do I freeze like that in conflict? Why can’t I just keep it together? Why do small things suddenly feel huge? There’s a name for this. It’s called your Window of Tolerance.

Sometimes the hardest part of therapy isn’t opening up—it’s the fear that if you do, you’ll be judged. You might wonder: What if it’s too much? What if I don’t make sense? What if they think I’m failing? If that’s you, I want you to know this: I’m not here to judge what you’re carrying. I’m here to hold space for it.