A few decades ago, therapy had a reputation. People would share something painful, complicated, or deeply personal and eventually hear: "And how does that make you feel?" The question became so associated with therapy that it found its way into films, television, and comedy sketches. These days, I wonder if we've found a new version of it. "Where do you feel that in your body?"

In therapy, it’s common to hear phrases like “let’s slow down for a moment” or “can we pause and stay with that feeling?” For some people, these invitations are helpful. Slowing down can make space for reflection and allow emotions to surface more clearly. But for many neurodiverse people, being asked to slow down in therapy can feel confusing, frustrating, or even slightly alienating.

“Trust the process.” It’s one of those phrases that gets said a lot in therapy spaces. It sounds wise. Reassuring. Almost spiritual. And sometimes, it can be helpful. A woman sitting on a couch, gesturing expressively while reading and discussing the contents of a large open book. But I won’t say it to you as a blanket statement. Not when you’re in the middle of something that feels confusing, painful, or uncertain. Because when you’re struggling, “trust the process” can land